


Love as strong as hearts of kyber

by myrish_lace



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jyn didn't have it easy in saw's army, One Shot, Sharing a Bed, Tent Sex, The crew survives the Battle of Scarif, well really tent sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:55:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrish_lace/pseuds/myrish_lace
Summary: Jyn knows toughness, grit, steel bars, cement walls. She's grown unaccustomed to softness, labeled it a luxury, and her past makes her wary of physical intimacy. But Cassian's different, and after Scarif, Jyn grows closer to him.Also there's an assist from Baze and Chirrut who are sick of these two mooning about.  :)





	

Jyn's never been with a man. This isn't a fact she intends to share, it's simply a reality, an artifact of her past. She was a soldier in Saw's army until she was sixteen, and he kept his men in line. But Saw couldn't protect her all the time, and during her last two years in the unit, she learned to turn away from leers, ignored ugly, crude words muttered next to her cot, deflected unwanted touches. Jyn taught herself to threaten with a glare, and a knife. The knife mattered, and she made the glare count.

After Saw left her behind, she closed herself off completely. She was a runaway, and men were a complication she didn't need. It was practical to put that barrier up on the road, to brush off stuttering advances when she was just trying to get a goddamned drink in a bar. 

Cassian's different, though, so different Jyn isn't quite sure what to do. Jyn pulls away from him after Scarif, after their improbable rescue, because she's grieving, they all are, especially since Bodhi didn't make it. Jyn also holds back because the emotional intensity she felt during those last minutes was raw and real. She felt like she could swim in it, open herself up and drown. After the adrenaline rush fades, she's not sure she can trust her emotions, and it's simpler to shove them aside. There's still a war on, after all. 

Cassian respects her choice, and doesn't push her. He just asks her from time to time, in a quiet voice, "Are you all right?"

She's grateful. She's also hard-pressed to admit she misses him.

They start again, slowly. He brushes her hand, not quite a squeeze, before battle, before they suit up and her headset fills with static, call signs and barked orders.

A few weeks later, in a little-used section of the loading dock at the rebel base, Jyn's bent over, trying to catch her breath. Her side aches from a blow she took that threw her into the muck on the planet's surface. Cassian rounds the corner, helmet under his arm, trying to look for all the world like it's no big deal, he comes to this abandoned location frequently, he's just out for a stroll.

Jyn casts about for a sarcastic remark but she can't speak yet, so she gives him what she hopes is a curt nod.

"You have a knack for finding dirt and mud as soon as we land, you know that, right?" Cassian's tone is light, but she sees concern in his eyes. He walks over and puts his arm around her shoulders, holding her up, taking on some of her weight, like she did for him when they limped to the elevator.

"Mud," she wheezes.

"Hmm?" His face is next to hers, but he's not looking at her. She can feel how warm and solid he is, and see his dark hair out of the corner of her eye. 

She points to his jacket, lets her hand drop. "Mud, you'll get mud on your clothes."

Cassian shrugs. "Occupational hazard."

"Of the war?"

"Of looking out for you."

"Don't need you to." She's pretty sure that's a lie, she's leaning into him now, breathing easier, and she doesn't want him to leave.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," he says softly, almost as if he heard her last thought. 

The next time the klaxon sounds and they're gearing up for a fight, when he brushes her hand, she catches his hand and squeezes back.

***

A month later, Cassian's hurt when he stumbles on uneven ground after a bomb explodes, twisting his ankle. 

Jyn's furious as she bangs down the metal ladder. She'd heard the call for a medic over the comm, and an anguished sound from Cassian that reverberated in her ears, put her nerves on high alert. She charges through the crowd to find him sitting on a fuel drum, wincing. Baze and Chirrut are with him, which cools her anger slightly. 

Jyn doesn't want to make a scene, and she knows all soldiers take risks, but how could he be so careless?

"How bad?" she says, keeping her voice steady.

Baze grunts. "He'll be fine. Maybe tell him not to walk into a minefield next time."

Jyn crouches so she's face-to-face with Cassian. She can see the sheen of sweat on his face, the creases on his forehead that indicate he's in serious pain. 

"Why? Why did you do it?"

"It's good to see you too, Jyn." Cassian's smile is sweet enough that she loses her train of thought briefly. 

"Tell me."

He closes his eyes. "There was a boy. A little boy. Right in the middle of the field. He wasn't going to make it out alive. I had to. I had to, Jyn."

She sighs because she knows he's right, she did the same back on Jedha, she would have done the same if she'd been with him. 

"Just...just be careful, okay?" Baze had wandered off to find out what's taking the medic team so long, and Chirrut seems turned inward, smiling slightly. It's the closest they'll come to being alone. 

Jyn watches Cassian's face spasm. She puts her hand on his shoulder, wishing she could bear this for him. The move throws him off balance, and he starts to slip off the drum. She catches him and pulls him towards her, tucking his head under her chin. She inhales his scent, and the rest of the crowd fades away as she feels an echo of their last moment on Scarif, when she held on tight to him and knew he was someone she could let herself love.

Jyn runs her fingers through his hair once, whispering in his ear. "Don't, Cassian. Don't leave."

Cassian hugs her back, turns his cheek so she's the only one who can hear him. "I won't. I promise, Jyn. I promise." Her heart beats faster at the intensity of his tone. They cling to each other for a few more minutes, until she feels someone tap her shoulder. Jyn lets a swarm of white-clothed medics take him away, feeling frustrated and useless. Her stomach rumbles, and she figures she should go fuel up on the bland porridge that passes for dinner at the base. It's a step up from prison food, though, and she's not particular about what she eats. 

She's about to leave when Chirrut puts a hand on her arm. Jyn's pretty sure she'd sound crazy if anyone asked her to describe how she and Chirrut communicate. It's been this way from the beginning, since she first saw his black robe slashed with red in the marketplace and heard him call out to her. There's some kind of field that shimmers between them, lets her talk to him silently, in images and feelings and colors. 

_Sky blue. Safe. Nourish each other._

She sends a question back.  _Grey, worry, past, fear, faint hope._

Chirrut nods, swings his staff in a tiny arc.  _White, new, loyal, love._

That last feeling,  _love_ , suffuses her senses, clears her mind. She covers Chirrut's hand with her own,  _gratitude_ , and heads to the dining hall. 

***

It's practically winter when they're marooned after a mission. The aircraft that was supposed to retrieve them got re-routed for an emergency. They're told it was needed as backup for rebels outgunned in another system. Cassian, Jyn, Baze and Chirrut can hardly argue with the choice, it's what saved their lives on Scarif. But the air isn't getting any warmer, and Jyn's starting to shake inside her jacket.  

All four of them are used to sleeping on cold, hard ground. But Jyn's just recovered from a cough, and Cassian is coming off of eight straight nights of flying, so Baze hands over the one tent pack they have. He cuts off Jyn's protests. "You're no use to us sick. Get in there, both of you."

Jyn and Cassian have the tent set up in no time. Jyn feels one last gust of guilt when she looks at Chirrut settled in next to a boulder, but Baze glares at her and points, so she closes the tent flap. They're quiet as they get ready for bed. The tent's roomy, thankfully, but Jyn's acutely aware of how close Cassian is. Jyn finally switches off the lantern.  She can hear the wind blowing over the sides of the canvas.

"Do you think the ship will make it?" Jyn wishes she could call the question back, but it hangs heavy in the air.

She waits a long moment for Cassian's reply. "I hope so. Maybe they'll get everyone, this time."

Jyn takes his hand in the dark. She knows he's thinking about Bodhi. She can feel the heat radiating from him. She rolls into his arms and he draws her closer, breathes with her, until she tips her face up, and brushes his lips. 

He goes still, then rests his forehead on hers. His eyes are dark as coal, burning, asking, because Cassian would not take anything Jyn wouldn't give willingly. She brushes his lips again, and he runs his hands through her hair, and slowly, slowly lowers his mouth to hers, tracing her forehead, her cheeks, her neck with his lips. She feels heat coursing through her as he kisses her behind her ear, and lets out a small moan.  "Cassian, I..." She doesn't know how to tell him that she wants him, badly, but she’s scared, she may need to stop, she's not sure what she is and isn't ready for. 

Cassian pulls back, caresses her cheek with his thumb. "Only what you want, Jyn." His voice is soft and he has the same open, loving expression she saw when he took her hand on the beach. 

She relaxes, and reaches for him, kissing him eagerly now, thrilling at the noise he makes low in his throat when she opens her mouth to him.  She wants to feel his skin under her hands, be as close to him as she possibly can. She straddles him and tugs at the hem of his shirt, urging him to take it off. He pulls the fabric over his head and tosses it aside, mussing his hair. He holds her close, and she sighs at the feel of his bare chest. She trails kisses of her own down his neck, smiling to herself when she feels his hands tighten at her hips. She pulls her own shirt off, ready to lean down and kiss him again. He stops her, gently, and she's confused. "What's wrong?" 

He shakes his head, gives her a small, rueful smile. "Nothing, I just - you're beautiful, Jyn, I've wanted to see you like this for so long, can I - can I look at you, for a moment?"

Jyn's never thought of herself as looking one way or another, doesn't dwell on beauty as a general principle. She finds Cassian attractive, has since the first moment she saw him, if she's honest, but hadn't stopped to think how he might react to seeing her naked. She squints at him. "Would you like me to take all of my clothes off?"

Cassian laughs. It's a joyous sound, probably loud enough to be heard across the field, and she'd be embarrassed, if she couldn't see the adoration in his eyes. "I would, very much, but you don't have to, Jyn, I'm just happy to be in this tent with you." His sincerity decides her, and Jyn knows what she wants. She shrugs, smiling down at him. "Well, I don't see any reason for either of us to have clothes on."

"I'm not going to argue with that," Cassian murmurs, but it takes a good half hour for them to get undressed. Cassian keeps pausing, running his hand over her bra, whispering how lovely she is, how good it feels to touch her. He kisses her hipbone as he eases her underwear off, sending shivers down her spine, threads his hands through her hair again and again, nuzzling the spot he’s found behind her ear that makes her knees weak.

Jyn's already panting and needy when Cassian slips a hand between her thighs. He groans when he finds her wet and aching, sways towards her, and she can see beads of sweat at his hairline. She frames his face with her hands. He's breathing hard, pupils blown, but she understands that if she told him to stop now he would, without hesitation. Jyn sees her own feelings mirrored in his eyes, and she feels a final loosening in her chest, an expansion,  _love_.

"Yes, Cassian," she sighs, because she senses he needs to hear it. He kisses her with reverence, and she shifts and lowers herself so that he's fully sheathed inside her. He huffs out her name, tightens his arm around her waist. The pain she anticipates never materializes. She's overwhelmed by the sweet fullness of him inside her. He's whispering into her ear as he thrusts, but she's too lost in the sensation coiling in her belly to hear him.  They're moving in sync, now, and this isn't any different than the connection they have constantly, how they instinctively cover each other, look out for each other, love each other.  

She's close to something she can't name, feeling a spark build deep inside her as she locks her arms around him. Cassian's close, too, and as much as he might want this to last, she feels the tension in his shoulders. She buries her face in his neck as he slides a finger between them and she cries out as a wave of pure pleasure crests over her once, and then again, as he snaps his hips into her, her name spilling from his lips. 

Jyn presses a kiss to his jaw as she comes back down to earth, tasting salt on his skin. Cassian smooths his hands over her back, and she feels the rise and fall of his chest slow with each minute that passes. The heat rolling off them starts to dissipate. Cassian pulls the covers around them when goosebumps form on Jyn's arm. She's floating, light, hazy, ensconced in his embrace. They fall asleep that way, Jyn turned into his chest, Cassian's lips brushing her hair, and for once in her life Jyn is not plagued by dreams. 

***

Baze and Chirrut have already made coffee when Jyn and Cassian stumble out of the tent. She'd thought about staggering their exits, having Cassian leave first, but there's really no point in trying to hide. Besides, Jyn's pretty certain the two older men are wise to them. 

Baze hands her a mug, and Jyn takes the first bitter, welcome sip. She holds the steaming cup between her hands, and inches closer to the fire. Cassian's leaning in to hear something Baze is telling him when the plane pierces the clouds. They break camp quickly, making sure to stamp out the flames. Cassian's on the ramp first, but he looks back for Jyn, extending his hand. She takes it, right there out in the open, and they pass through the door, heads bent together. 

"Remember when I pulled that trick?" Chirrut nudges Baze. "Only one tent, when we got lost on that island?"

"We were never lost," Baze rumbles, but he rubs Chirrut's back affectionately. "Had to get those two together somehow."

"What did you tell him?"

"Cassian?" Baze grunts. "He hurts my little sister, I kill him. Simple."

Chirrut gives Baze the same enigmatic smile he's seen for fifteen years. "They are meant to be a pair. Stronger that way. The Force is with them."

Baze keeps himself from rolling his eyes, though he knows Chirrut's probably right. "Come on, I'm not sleeping here another night. Let's get on board before the pilot gives up on us."


End file.
